Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I want her autograph on my taint
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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