You can't motorboat a personality
He kissed a someone with a penis
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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