are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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