DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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