i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
