I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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