the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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