Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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