I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
