Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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