he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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