i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
