im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I understand Curling. That high.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
