he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
