we have officially lost it.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
