The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
