At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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