I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So much rum. So many feels.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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