I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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