What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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