In America we eat man semen.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
