And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She's like a pop up book from hell.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
