I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
