I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
