woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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