i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
