he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
