he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
