You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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