No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
