Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
