Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
