her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
