I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
soo... how was my night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
