I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
