all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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