So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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