Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
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And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
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You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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