I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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