btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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