At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
