I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
don't judge my taste in strippers
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
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