You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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