Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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