explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
