Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
