Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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