garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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