well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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