Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
