I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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