Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
