I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
