you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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