Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
