and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
