no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
