just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
