My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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