Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
