This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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