Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
