Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
