Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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