Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
